Ladies, now the imfamous “WALK OF SHAME” can be stylish and classy as the night before (well almost).

Snippets:

The Night Before: Bambi’d-out eyelashes, you flutter like butterfly wings to attract your prey. A perfectly painted scarlet pout that whispers sweet nothings in his ear. Artfully applied shimmer on your cheeks that foreshadows the glow you’ll hopefully be enjoying in nan but an hour or two.

The Morning After: Hurricane Mascara touches down on your lids. Cracked lips that’d make Tyrone Biggums blush. And the tasty sour mix that aided your dose of liquid courage is now just, well, sour breath.

Evian Mineral Water Spray To Go: A purse essential for any situation — a quick spritz refreshes dry skin, helps touch up makeup, and removes any perspiration you acquired getting tangled in those sheets.

Yet, as always, the No. 1 item in the jump-off beauty kit: contraception. At the end of the day, we’d much rather someone confuse you for a “Before” in a Dr. Miracle’s ad if it means a choice between arming yourself for safer sex or post-coital grooming. Stay sexy but, most of all, stay safe, busy bees!

Check out Honey Magazine’s post for the Jump-Off Beauty Kit. Hilarity.